A Sensitive Post. About Breast Health.

It was a typical Tuesday, until the phone call.
I'd had a routine mammogram the week before, and had expected each day since to come home to an 'everything looks great!' letter in the mailbox. Instead, the phone call came in, telling me I needed to come back in as soon as possible for further images.

It was paralyzing.

We think we are made of stone, and in a second, we can be smacked hard with the reality of how vulnerable we actually are. The rest of Tuesday and the following Wednesday morning, I operated on auto-pilot to get through the necessary routines of the day. To my friends I maintained disposition, "I'm sure it's nothing, just a second look to be sure." To P, I expressed the truth - I was terrified. And then, it was Wednesday afternoon, and I was back at the imaging center for an ultrasound of the right breast.

Overall, I'm very healthy person, and I feel blessed every day for it. The idea, even for a fleeting moment, of becoming sick is such a worst-case scenario for us all. My only solace as I sat post-ultrasound, waiting on the doctor to come in and tell me the results, was that if something was wrong, chances were that it was very early point and I'd be okay.

If you have ever been in this position, then you know, as I do, how long ten minutes can be, sitting and waiting. Then the knock on the door, and you steel yourself to handle whatever is about to be said.

My news was good. For a moment, the world floated around me. The past twenty-four hours of anxiety faded into the bliss of  'I'm okay'. It was simply a lymph node, and the second look was a precaution, just to be certain.

I took my son for ice cream afterwards.

Watching him, talking to him, and thinking of the overwhelming joy combined with the often frightening amount of responsibility that being a parent, especially a solo parent, involves, I realized the importance of taking an aggressive approach to maintaining my health.
I love holistic healing and the idea that we are largely responsible for our overall general health...but I'm coming to realize the value of routine tests, screenings, and trusting that medical professionals are here to help us. I see the benefit in combining traditional medicines with modern practices. I see the need to be pro-active in every area in our lives to ensure we are healthy and happy.

Breast cancer is a frightening thought for all women, so frightening it leads them to avoid performing self-exams and mammogram screenings for fear something will be found. But truth is, early detection saves lives. It could have saved mine, had my results been different. It could save yours or the life of someone you love one day. In the interim, however, along with being vigilant about changes in the breast and health checks, we can also all strive to reduce our stress levels and create more peaceful flow and routines in our daily lives. Stress makes us not only depressed and dispirited, but it also makes us sick, bottom line.

The author of one of my favorite blogs, Saimaalife, writes about this beautiful in a recent post on breast health, and one of my favorite lines from this post is, "I think constant stress caused my breast cancer”, my former colleague said to me years ago. Some things stop you and make you think. They function as a catalyst for change. That sentence was a wake up call for me. It made me to really think about my stressfull job. It also made me to seek up more information about the negative impacts of a constant tiredness and stress on wellbeing. I begun searching the way out of the lifestyle that was making my mind and body ill."

Being vigilant is important, but so is committing to a simple, joyful lifestyle which reduces overall stress level by removing the constant pressure we often allow life to heap upon us. Stepping up, removing negativity from our lives, finding the wonder in the day to day...

I will close this somewhat sensitive post with photos of the rest of my Wednesday afternoon, which I spent outside, to ground myself and remember what was really and truly important. What began as a simple walk around the block near my parents' home ended up the discovery of a new trail and a lovely creek to explore.

 A beautiful afternoon, full of nature and sunshine and gratitude.

Take care of yourselves... :-)

Hummingbird Cake and the Value of Tradition

I read an article recently about how the great Southern cakes of tradition were losing popularity, and more often than not, weren't included in new cookbook publications. This includes Southern Caramel Cake, which I made for Thanksgiving, and Hummingbird Cake, which I made this Sunday for my father's 67th birthday.

Why are they falling out of favor with modern day cooks? The article's author wasn't certain, but speculated that perhaps it was time. Preparing a cake from an old Southern recipe is not an act of haste. It's a morning, at least, and can be the better part of an entire day. It's a fine art, and can't be rushed. I learned this Thanksgiving Day, after almost an hour of slowly stirring icing into caramel perfection.

I love tradition, and though I am passionate about healthy eating, I'm also equally passionate about my own cultural food heritage. For a long time, I'd wanted to make the Hummingbird cake, but was intimidated by the amount of ingredients and multiple layers this cake involved. Still, I knew my father would love it! His birthday was a perfect time to try the recipe!

A key ingredient for Hummingbird Cake is pecans, which my family always has in abundance due to the multiple pecan trees on my parents' property. Some people substitute almonds for pecans, but to me, it's just not the same. Even the icing calls for pecans, finely chopped, and trust me, finely chopping pecans is a definite labour of love!!

Hummingbird Cake is three layers, rich icing in between each one. I made the icing between baking layers, with a little help from someone keen to sample it!

Of course, I don't complain...I sampled pecans plenty between the chopping! It's impossible not to!

Lunch preparations while the layers cooled...

         ...then, the icing, while the boy waited anxiously to enjoy the leftovers in the bowl! Do children ever tire of 'cleaning' icing bowls? I don't think so! 

And then, the Hummingbird Cake was done. A morning spent in joyous, fulfilling work, a tradition continued. A homemade cake is a gift in itself, but a traditional Southern homemade cake tends to get everyone excited. My father and family enjoyed it and there were plenty of leftovers, as these cakes tend to be quite large with multiple servings.

Tonight, I had a couple of friends stop by, and we enjoyed coffee and a few slices of leftover cake. And the boy, who has requested this be his birthday cake from now until infinity, was delighted to have the last slice!

Traditions are so important, to preserve and to pass on to the next generation, and food traditions are no exception. There is history, story, and life in the origin of a cake, the name of a recipe, or the memory of the first place you tried a certain dessert. It may be a simple thing to some, but the greatest joys of our days often lie in what seems like the simplest of things!

There are many Hummingbird Cake recipes to be found. Below is the link to the one I made:

http://img4-3.southernliving.timeinc.net/static/pdf/humcake_feb_1978.pdf

Ego, Pride, and Random Acts of Kindness

We always hear about how we should all be doing random acts of kindness, and of course, that's true. The world is bound to be a better place when we are kind to one another.

I was surprised, however, when I was the recipient of a random act of kindness earlier this week. Surprised because I struggled with accepting it.

I struggled with accepting a gift.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? Still, it's true. Here's a brief recap of the event: I received a bill for a necessary home service, and it was exceedingly higher than I'd expected it to be. About 5 times higher, actually. Hoping there was some mistake, I called the service provider, who explained politely that this was a flat fee, charged to anyone who required the service. I was irritated, and I'm not proud to say, vented extensively to P, who explained pointedly to me that it's always wise to ask about fees up front.

Even though I strive to lead a balanced, peaceful life, it is always a work in progress. I'd made the call to secure the service a few days before, while in the car, en route from one place to another. I'd never asked the fee. Instead I'd made an assumption, based on what I had paid for similar service in the past, and now I would - literally - be paying the price.

Imagine my surprise, a few hours later, when the service provider called me back, and told me he had decided to waive his fee and consider the work a donation. Many people in my shoes would have simply said "Thank you!" and counted their blessings.... I did not react this way, however. The more he explained to me that he simply wanted to do a random act of kindness for someone, the more I persisted to him that I could pay the bill.

It was never a matter of being unable to pay it; I had simply been astounded that I would have to pay so much. And I could not stop feeling, deep inside, that he was waiving the fee because he thought, for some reason, I could not pay it.

Enter pride.

I could not feel gratitude for this man's gentle act because I could not stop thinking that he had assumed I was financially strapped, though I'd given no impression of this in my call. Finally, P said to me, "Why do you care so much anyway what this stranger might think of you?" When I could not explain it, he called it like it was: "It is your ego wanting to shout, I HAVE THE MONEY!"

Whoa...but one of the reasons I am so crazy about P is that he cares enough for me to risk honesty. And honesty, let's face it, sometimes is a risk. I needed to hear that, however, because being too attached to our delicate, fragile egos is a much greater risk, especially when it makes us analyze a random act of kindness so much we can't accept it.

Paulo Coehlo states, in The Alchemist, that if we reject a gift, 'the universe might be listening, and give you less next time." So in writing this post, I am expressing my now ego-less, completely sincere gratitude for the service provider's random act of kindness.

And remembering to also be grateful...

                                                   ...for yet another meaningful, powerful lesson.

Humbled. Honored. Grateful. Contributing to The Mother Magazine

So humbled. So honored. So grateful.

Next week, I will have my first article to jump the pond. I will be a contributing writer to the beautiful, inspirational, and internationally read The Mother Magazine.

I am still digesting this information.

I can not wait to hold my own copy in my hands.

The Mother Magazine, based in the UK, is, in their own words, "a natural, holistic parenting publication read in over 40 countries worldwide."

Can you spot the children in the tree? Hint - there are five!

I am humbled, honored, and grateful to be a contributing writer for issue 63. Next week, I will post a direct link for ordering this (and/or any other) issue.

Until then, for more information on The Mother Magazine, visit http://www.themothermagazine.co.uk/
It is a wonderful publication that I just can't say enough good things about!

My First 5K

Yesterday, the boy and I participated in our first 5K!

Ready to run!

I have wanted to participate in a 5K for a long time now. If you are are unfamiliar with term, a 5K is a 3.1 mile 'race' that is generally a fundraiser for a charity or event. This particular 5K was sponsored by Hodges Elementary School in Hodges, SC, and held in honor of a beloved teacher who had passed away from cancer.

While being part of a 5K run may not be a big deal to many people, it was a big deal for me. It was a first, a goal accomplished, a step towards being the runner I want to be. A way to prove to myself that I could do it. A step towards the marathon I want to run one day. P is a marathon runner, which I find very inspiring. I know how difficult it is, from supporting him through several. It is still, however, something I long to try. And while a 5K is nothing close to a marathon, well...

All done!

... it was very meaningful to me, because I spent the first two decades of my life being told by physicians that the asthma I was diagnosed with as a child would prevent me from ever being athletic. In school, I was not even allowed to participate in athletic programs of any kind. I longed to be a runner, but being told for years that you can not do something, well, it takes quite some time to undo the damage that does. Lucky for me, I never much liked listening to other people tell me what I can and can not do. In my early twenties, I weaned myself off the medication and learned to strengthen my lungs through once-forbidden exercise and participated in many sports activities.

It took me a while, however, to brave a 5K. Now, I'm so glad I did, and look forward to more. It gives me a goal to strive towards in baby steps...finishing a 5K, finishing it by running entire way, finishing one in a certain time, etc.

Post 5K apple was the best snack ever!

And being a marathon runner, well...it seems less and less impossible for me every day!

Time for Little Things

It's a typical Tuesday evening here. We're relaxing, and I'm waiting on a friend to stop by.

There is no rushing about. No place we need to be except for home. Work and school are done; this time is ours.

Homemade gingersnaps, my son's favorites!

My son plays outside with friends while I set out treats and make coffee. My friend arrives, and we chat at the kitchen table, the center of any Southern home. The kitchen has always been my favorite room of the house. While I love looking at images of big, fancy kitchens and imagining what I could cook there, I also love the coziness of my small one.

Making sweaters is only a mild addiction...

My friend has brought some knitting patterns to share. I'm excited, because today, in some old stored junk at work, I found some beautiful vintage buttons I will use on the sweater I'm currently making. They are nautical, featuring anchors, which I love.

Perfect...

And the sun sets, my friend says goodbye, and it's time to settle in for the evening. Quality time together with a new library book. I still love reading books to and with my son. I'm hoping he'll one day share my passion for them!

We often discuss the books we've read on the ride to school...

And Tuesday passes. And this is the stuff of life. Simple moments, time with friends, time with family. Warm cookies from the oven, good strong coffee on a windy March eve. The world revolving around the kitchen table, where decisions are made and stories are told and the universe seems to unfold, where food is shared and love is felt....and tiny armies wage battles for Middle Earth on Saturday mornings...

"I don't have time to make cookies," someone recently told to me. "I have a life. I don't have time for little things like that."

I'm so infinitely glad that my life allows time for little things...

3 Simple Things...

I'm learning to use my new laptop, and it's not fun. I'm not a technology buff, and to prove that point, here is fact most people find quite amazing...this is the first computer I have purchased for myself since...eeek...1995, when, as a 20-something, I bought a desktop Dell behemoth on a payment plan in order to establish credit.

Soooo intimidating for a non-techi like me!

So, as I'm learning my way around this new device, I find myself fighting the urge to just pick up my work computer, which I've relied on for years, and roll with it. I'm not going to do that though. Instead, I'm gonna muddle through, learn to use this one, and share with you three exceedingly simple things that I have found help settle me when I'm stressed or annoyed by some task.

1. Make the bed. A made bed just tidies up the entire room instantly. This simple practice takes less than 5 minutes a day, and to me, just brings a sense of peace whenever I enter my room. Even if I am running late, I always make a point to make the bed.

2. Light a candle. This is one of the first things I do each morning, usually while the Keurig is brewing my first cup of coffee of the day. Scented or plain, there is something peaceful about a small, lit candle nearby. I prefer tea lights and votive holders myself, but larger pillar candles are nice, too.

3. Get outside. Even if it's cold. We Southerners tend to hermit ourselves unless the day is sunny and warm, but breaking that habit and getting outside for some time each and every day (even the cold and wet ones) has become an essential practice for me.

So there you have it, three simple things that are helping me keep my sanity as I become accustomed to my new computer. I'm proud to bring you this first post composed on my very own personal laptop!

Now, I step away and start baking that bread I never got around to making yesterday. Rosemary and sage. My kitchen is soon going to smell heavenly, and we'll have fresh homemade bread to enjoy with our spaghetti lunch later.

Simple things. Big joy. Happy Sunday, dear readers!