This Summer. These Moments. These Days.

How do you sum up that which seems impossible to sum up?

How to express concisely that which is so, so far from concise?

I read once that it seems years and years will go by without many changes at all, then suddenly everything changes all at once. That seems to be the way of it, I will agree. My last post, on Palm Sunday, we were looking forward to Spring Break trip to Legoland, summer vacation and well, just the joy that comes with the spring blooms and warmer weather.

A few weeks later, I was hired to teach a class at a local university. One of my long-time goals. Just one class, not a full-time position, but still, thrilling. In the midst of this, however, my mother passed into spirit.

My mother, in her late teens

We all hear about how difficult it can be to lose a parent, but until we go through it, it's impossible to understand. I won't write more about this now. But it happened. And in the midst of processing this, something else happened...

I interviewed for, and was offered, a dream job! Another long-time goal, finally realized. A bright spot. However, the very day after I accepted the position, my father was hospitalized with a massive stroke.

My father, in his 20s

And all the while, regular life went on. Animals had to be fed; children had to be cared for and kept in the age-appropriate spaces between knowledge about what was happening and protection from the knowledge of what was happening; homes had to be tended; bliss and joy had to be found and shared. I reconnected with old friends and reacquainted myself with things I once enjoyed but had, for whatever reasons, not found time for lately. I shed the skin of a former profession and, through workshops and training, stepped into a new career. I found moments of laughter with family I'd not seen for years, and depths of compassion I didn't know I possessed as I watched my beloved, rugged, lumber-jack like father struggle to feed himself.

Though I am in my 5th decade of life, my mother's passing, my father's stroke, and my career change have all left me feeling a bit lost in the world. A strange mix of grief and emancipation. I miss my mother and long for my father's return to a healthy independent state. I am nervous about learning the ropes of my new job and a bit more sentimental than I expected to be about leaving my old one. I feel as though I am leaping without a safety net, and at the same time, have a rush of creativity that has me doing everything from creating new works on my easel to making jewelry from found objects during quiet summer-citronella-incense-coffee-friends evenings on my patio.

Autumn Puddles, diptych, oil on canvas

And all the while, the birds sing, the cicadas hum, the sun rises and sets. Nothing waits for us to catch up or be ready. Eventually you being to feel normal again. In time, people quit texting or calling to see how you are. Cards quit coming in the mail. You are able to forget that terrible things have happened for moments at a time, and you can fully reach out and embrace with joy the new things that are coming your way. As Robert Frost so eloquently said once, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."

I sit with my toes in the sand while my child rushes the waves. I am grieving and I am happy. I want to both hide from the world and revel in it. I want to sing and laugh from excitement and I want to be silent and still with sadness. And in this summer, in these moments, during these days, all of this is normal.

All of this is sane.

All of this is me.

Oh, Those Big Collages! Two Easy DIYs for Dull Winter Days

When you wake up to Icemageddon, you pretty much know it's going to be an indoor day, possibly even an indoor week....

As I've stated before, winter here in South Carolina is not the lovely, softly snowing, cross-country skiing and sledding bliss my Northern friends enjoy. (Of course it is also not 6 months of sunless skies and continuous snow shoveling, so there are huge pluses!) It is a non-season, really, with alternating sunny 70 degree days and 30 degree grey days, often 24 hours apart. However, occasionally Old Man Winter decides to remind us somewhat spoiled Southern dwellers that he is a force to be reckoned with. This happened Monday night, and lead to us waking up in an ice-covered realm.

While winter scenery such as this can be breathtakingly beautiful, this particular storm has caused severe power outages affecting our entire region and closing schools and many businesses for a second day, with a lot of indoor time for families, due to the near constant danger of falling limbs, trees, and power lines. It's good to have a fun activity that everyone can be involved in (verses endless hours in front of television and/or technology). 

So here is a tutorial for you on making a vision board! Or, more simply put, a collage that features all the things you are hoping for in the coming year! 

I'm often asked about the very big collages that hang throughout our home, which were created during 2011's Snowmageddon during the week we spent inside. It was great fun and no special materials were required. Though I used old canvases - hence the large size of our collages - cardboard works just as well, or any flat surface you can apply glue and paper to! Our large collages were actually vision boards that were created with a specific purpose. Because as an artist collage is not a medium I work in, I was not aiming for creative composition or a showpiece. My son and I were simply having fun perusing old magazines and looking for inspiring images of what we wanted to attract our way in the coming year/years.

In January of this year, I had a vision board party with several friends, where we watched The Secret and made small vision boards. The supply list was simple - pre-cut pieces of cardboard, Elmer's glue, scissors, paintbrushes and magazines. Nothing fancy at all! 

Simply find the image you want, cut it out, brush a little glue onto the board, lay down the image, then brush a bit of glue over it to flatten it. I also brushed glue over the entire finished piece to add a layer of shine. You can also use Modge-Podge instead of glue, though in my experience, plain old Elmer's works just as well.

Listening to everyone discuss what they hoped to attract to their lives in abundance in the coming year was so inspiring! And the good thing is, no previous experience in collage is required to make a vision board - just knowledge of what one truly, authentically desires to have in their life.

Throughout the evening, there were many jokes and quips made as many images and words passed on to others in jest. Comfortable placed alongside Marriage and/or Career were  tossed about until we all agreed they sounded too settled and dull to be situations we'd want to aspire to. Joy. Adventure. Healthy. Travel. Off The Beaten Path. Presence. Fun Marriage. Exciting Career. Being Here Now - these were far more popular terms!

My son, who participated as well (most children love collage and older children can easily understand the concept of a vision board) knows well my love of shoes and added a humorous contribution to my board while making his own.

The party was great fun, and if  you are snowbound/icebound these next few days (or weeks) then making vision boards can be an easy and creative activity for the entire family! Have fun with it! We certainly did! Our two smaller boards adorn the older one on our den wall so that we can look at them and reflect at some point each day.

 The Law of Attraction - the basis of the movie The Secret, which I recommend watching - can be a bit scary of a concept if it is new to you, but I do believe what we direct our energy towards, especially in our thoughts, is what we attract to ourselves. I can see too much evidence of this in my own life to dispute it!

And here's another fun activity - polka dots are becoming all the rage here, but in the midst of The February Challenge, I can not run out and indulge myself in the dottiness, which is maddening because polka dots are about as me as fashion can get. I can, however, use fabric paint I already have and a old pair of too-plain tennies and suddenly I am rocking the latest fashion, without a dime having been spent!

I've got my eye on a pair of jeans in need of a transformation, too, and just enough paint - and thanks to the ice-storm, time - to make it happen!

How are you creatively spending these dull winter days? I hope the vision board tutorial inspires you!