Three Things I Will Not Do in 2016...What About You?

Last year, my friends and I watched The Secret and made vision boards to celebrate the coming of 2015. This year, however, we blasted the Rolling Stones and made Moscow Mules. It somehow seemed more fitting and, to be honest, was a bit more fun (I think all who were present would agree!)

Instead of making resolutions, however, I decided to take a close look at how and where I can make changes in order to be closer to accomplishing both my professional and personal goals. I find this a bit more helpful than resolutions because it involves a lot of honesty and self-reflection, and sometimes difficult choices. It's deciding what I am no longer going to do. Not immeasurable philosophical ideals like 'I won't judge others' but real things that take time and mental energy.

And so, after much thought, there are three things I will not do in 2016 - my 'rever-solutions,' so to say...


1. I will not have a garden.

This was a difficult decision accompanied by no small amount of Mama guilt (don't you just love that?) when my son expressed his disdain that there would be no spring planting. However, a large productive garden takes quite a lot of labor and dedication. I've headed up a community and then a personal garden where I live for many years, but in 2016 I am not going to be doing this. I may plant a few items along or behind my property, but that will be all. Luckily, I have a father who gardens and a fantastic Farmer's Market nearby, so there will be no shortage of fresh, organic veggies in our household.

2. I will not follow homeschooling, stay-at-home moms on Instagram.

Now don't get me wrong, I love all the homeschooling, stay-at-home moms dearly. I just tend to over-idealize their seemingly un-fettered lives as I'm rushing out the door for work in 20 degree weather before the sun rises with a half-awake child who still needs to complete a page of homework at my side. While staying at home to raise and educate your children is definitely an honorable and worthy path, its one that will never be mine. I know this; I'm far too independent to rely on someone else to support me and my child financially, and I don't play Powerball which means I won't be guessing my way into financial freedom any time soon. I also enjoy having a career...but those gorgeous Instagram feeds make me feel that I should be staying home to teach writing on large chalkboards hanging in the den, symmetry through snipping snowflakes from recycled yogurt lids and fractions through incessant bread baking instead of sending my son to school to learn those things while I earn a living. It's conflicting, and I don't need to be conflicted in this coming new year. So...a few clicks and Bye, Felicia.

3. I will not subscribe to fast fashion.

Fast fashion - cheap, dispensable clothing available at every turn is just so tempting, especially if you love clothes and fashion as I do...but it is also destroying our environment and quality of life around the globe beaded tunic by beaded tunic. So this year, with the exception of socks and unmentionables, of course, we will thrift our way into style - which will be the subject of a weekly post, Thursday Thrift Store Score, that I'll be doing here on the blog. I'll also feature some eco-friendly brands and sustainability tips as well. But I won't fall victim to fast fashion superstores and their lame (but effective) wooing tactics this year. Cutting up my cards to these stores was a first step in committing to this - the less you use the cards, the less they lavish you with tempting offers. I'm thinking my ignoring them like this will make them just go away, kind of like the ex whose late night texts you don't respond to eventually disappears!

So there, you have it. Three things I will not be doing in 2016. What about you, can you think of - and commit to - three things you will not do this year in order to focus more on what you really, authentically want to be doing?

How I Make the Most of Busy Weekday/Workday Evenings

On a run this week, I thought about how I used to view weekday/workday evenings...

I'm not proud to say that I once referred to it as 'the second shift'. I would come home from work focused on all the work that needed to be done at home. Some days I felt like I was going through motions and I just wanted tasks to be done so I could sit down.

And I couldn't wait for the weekends to come so I could relax. 

Now, I've learned to see beauty in the simplicity of workday/weekday evening routines. Weekends are wonderful, but it is possible to make weekday/workday evenings not hectic and stressful, but peaceful and pleasant times together as family. Here are some things that work well for my son and I!

1. Unplugging and getting outside

These days, 'unplugging' is an essential part of our evening routine. I've written many times about the importance of being present and being in the moment. I have made a habit of no longer looking at social networking sites from my phone during workday/weekday evenings. I might view these sites in the mornings before I leave for work, but I find it is easier to be in the moment and fully present if I am not looking at my phone during evening hours. 

Time in nature is so important to our health and well being. Disconnecting from technology and immersing myself in nature, even only for a few moments, rejuvenates me after a long busy day at work!

2. Plant a garden

There is something so rewarding about growing your own food! But it is a lot of work! By splitting it into smaller jobs to be done daily or every other day, it is more easily manageable to work full-time and also maintain a garden. And there is a tremendous sense of peace, for me, in having my hands in the dirt after a long day of work!

A garden is also a great way to get children away from television or video games and also eating healthier foods. I find that my son is much more likely to eat foods that he planted, grew, and tended himself than if I simply purchase these items at the market. I never required him to work in the garden, but would occasionally ask his assistance when I was busy tending some part of it. It was easy for me to watch him play outside if I was in the garden, and I find children are inherently curious about things adults are doing and in time will want to help. I'm pleased to say this is how it has unfolded for us! The garden is a big part of our lives.

3. Find an exercise you enjoy and can easily fit into your evenings

I discovered running about a year ago, and have been practicing yoga for many years. These activities help me to feel healthy and strong, and I tend to alternate between each depending on the weather and how I feel. Because evening hours can be busy after long work days, I keep my runs and yoga routines shorter than what I might do on weekends - just enough to feel the benefits of regular exercise! And running has an extra plus, just like gardening - more time outdoors!

4. A bit of spontaneity makes a weekday/workday evening more fun

A visit from a friend, making an apple pie, visiting grandparents, or just going out to dinner...all of these things can add a new dimension to a weekday/workday evening! Instead of pressuring myself to have certain things done on certain days as I did in the past, I leave room to be spontaneous. Weekday/workday evenings should be as enjoyable as weekends! 

5. Find simple, flexible routines that work for you and your family

Doing homework immediately upon arriving home just did not work well for us. Neither of us wanted to come in and focus on schoolwork right away. So now, my son does his homework while I am tidying up the kitchen after dinner. This way I am close by and can answer questions or lend a hand. I also have found that keeping extracurricular activities, like classes I am taking or sports my son is participating in, to a minimum - one activity at a time, and no more than two evenings a week - help keep the weekday/workday busy evening burnout away!

6. Have something that you authentically enjoy to close your day with

A cup of evening coffee and good book...these are a perfect close of the day for me!

A knitting project works, too! 

I used to try and accomplish many things in the evening that were not always my authentic interests. My motivations for these projects were based on a feeling of always needing to be working towards some grand goal that would bring some sense of accomplishment to the day. Now, I find joy in the simple routines of the day and do not need grand goals to constantly be striving towards, only joy. I'm very grateful for this magical, wonderful life that we have and I am grateful to be able to close a day doing something I love!

There are so many ways to make workday/weekday evening routines less stressful and more meaningful, and I'll write more on this subject soon. The weekend is just around the corner, and I'm looking very forward to The Rabon Creek Farm Fresh Fair on Saturday and my mother's birthday celebration on Sunday! I'm sure there will be posts on both events, as well as on the change of seasons. Autumn is my favorite season and it is shaping up to be a beautiful one here in South Carolina!

Happy Thursday, all!