The Opinions of Others vs. How We See Ourselves

Recently my friend Ginn shared a link on my personal Facebook page to an article concerning fashion for women over thirty. Actually, it was more of a 'what not to wear' kind of deal and she shared it with me for humor's sake. Like me, she subscribes to her own ideas ideas concerning age and fashion and all things such. It's just one of the reasons we're friends!

One of the no-nos for women over thirty, according to this article, was graphic t-shirts....which I love. So, to add to the fun, my response comment was a picture of myself at that very moment, wearing my favorite graphic tee, a bright red number featuring rows of bones.

Yep.

I didn't think much more about it until a male friend messaged me later about the picture. He thought that the photo was not flattering and for my own sake, I should remove it. He then offered a bit of advice about my current look, primarily that he preferred my hair straight.

His comments sent me into a momentary tailspin. All the mixed feelings I've always had about my appearance came creeping up, all the things I can not change and thus have made peace with - my height, my body shape, my curly hair. Then I woke up and realized, who was he to judge the way I look? His opinion hadn't been asked for and the more I thought about it, the more his actions just...I don't know...said quite a lot more about him than about my and/or my photo.

Honestly, I'd not paid the photo much attention. It was the end of a workday and I'd snapped it at the best angle I could to get the shirt as well as me. I had not posted it to garner compliments or praise; I posted it simply because I found humor in the fact that I was wearing one of the forbidden items featured in the article as I was reading it. My friend's negative comments about my appearance emotionally hijacked me because, well, most of us would be a bit sensitive to a thing like that. We're human. We're often vulnerable. And sometimes we get riled up over trivial things like the opinions of others, despite how hard we try to be enlightened.

How others see us is often more a reflection of how they see themselves. And more importantly, we can't control this. We can control how we react to it, however. I let go of my friend's unsolicited negative criticism about my picture and moved on with my day because in the end, his opinion was just that - his opinion. We have the choice of how much we're going to let the opinions of others control our thoughts, feelings, actions, and most importantly, our lives. I liked the picture and I would not remove it because this open person didn't find it visually appealing any more than I would chuck all my graphic tees because some random article writer said I was to old to wear them.

Here's a song for both of them and all the other naysayers out there who think they know better than us what's best for us. Kind of perfect, don't you think? :-) Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Naturally Curly Hair Care + a Wonderful New Blog to Share!

I have to admit, I've not always embraced my curls...

On any given day, my hair is messy, big, and pretty high maintenance. Or actually, pretty low maintenance when compared to the daily routines of straightening. Yes, I spent much of the past year engaged in a morning battle of straightening my hair, which employs a rather frightening list of hair care products to calm it, keep it calmed, and protect it from the heating damage of straightening devices that seem to be rimmed in 24 karat gold, given what they cost. All to avoid this...

Actually, this is a rather mellow hair day...

However, I decided recently to eschew trying to be someone I'm not. I can't explain it, but I feel less like myself with straight hair. While I love it on other folks, my often unruly curls just feel more familiar.  Much more like me. Naturally.

And I like to keep the maintenance of it natural. I cringe thinking of the layers of products I used to force straightness on my curls. And while it is possible to find organic and sustainable hair care products for straightening, the only thing I have to focus on with my curls is conditioning. My basic hair care routine these days involves getting out of bed, picking through my hair with a comb (never, ever a brush!) a few spritzes with lavender water, and deciding whether I'm gonna wear it up that day with a nice headband or scarf, or wear it down.

Yeah.

But back to the conditioning, which is so important for hair like mine. I discovered a fabulous natural treatment via the wonderful and wonderfully inspiring blog of Brooklyn-based stylist and creative mama, Latonya Staubs. Her recipe for a natural avocado deep conditioner has become a weekly routine for me. I'm addicted to avocados (and raw avocado chocolate pudding!) and there is always one or two around here that can be added to, well, everything! So whenever I feel the need to deep condition, I just step into the kitchen...

One half for my salad...the other for my hair! It's a great treatment that I can feel good about because it's all natural! Thanks, Latonya Staubs, for sharing this! And readers, I definitely recommend her blog!  You can also follow her on Instagram @latonyayvette and on Facebook!

And I also recommend you rock your curls, girls! 

Sustainably Awesome! An Interview with Eco-Designer Natalie Smith of Sustainably Chic

Sustainably awesome...that would be my opinion of Charleston, SC based artist and designer Natalie Smith's online shop, Sustainably Chic.

What is Sustainably Chic? Directly quoting from the site, it is, "A blog and online boutique dedicated to sustainability within fashion economics and culture. We can all make a difference by what we decide to purchase. Shop positive, shop small, shop sustainably."

Though Natalie is not too far down the road from me, I discovered her shop through a long-time favorite blog of mine, SaimaaLife! (Isn't the wide world of the web amazing? I learn about something local to me from a blogger on the other side of the world! Read Mari's posts on Sustainably Chic here and here!) I was hooked after reading Mari's first post, but this was during The February Challenge so I had to wait a bit to order my own Sustainably Chic items! However, they were well worth the wait!

Love my ivory headband from the organic linen & lace headband/bracelet line. Yes, it can double as wristwear!

This piece from her organic crochet and lace necklace line just has all of my heart!

I love my two pieces, and was able to chat with Natalie for this post and learn a bit more about her and her vision for the future of Sustainably Chic!

Natalie Smith of Sustainably Chic

"Sustainably Chic actually began as a school project," says Natalie. "It was a filler for my portfolio. I studied fashion, and the last two years of school, I found sustainable fashion and became obsessed. All my projects became dedicated to sustainability within fashion economics. Towards the end of my studies, I wanted to create a business plan for my own store. Faqara was the name of the business, which means ‘love’ in Amharic. It was a fair trade store that sold accessories and home decor from all over the world - and my professor hated the idea. She didn't understand the concept of Fair Trade and thought there was nothing special about the store - no niche. That’s when I realized I needed to change the minds around me and educate people about their purchasing power. I started La Petite N-Kay to add to the mix and relate to my immediate peers. The name ‘Faqara’ dwindled off in my mind, but then Sustainably Chic came about and the conversation got bigger."

Organic linen& lace headband in grapefruit, $12

"The name La Petite N-Kay derives from two things: we are from the canton Vaud in Switzerland so there is a lot of French speaking in the family. My Grandmaman calls me her Jolie Petite Fille. N-Kay is short for my first and middle name, Natalie Kay. I’m pretty small, 5’1’’ and three quarters, so it fits!"

Organic linen turban headband in light forest green, $22

"The main thing I want to do with both La Petite N-Kay and Sustainably Chic," says Natalie, "is to create awareness for positive consumerism. I think it’s safe to say we all love to get something new now and then and a lot of us enjoy being trendy. There is a sustainable alternative to purchasing, however - buying organic, upcycled, recycled, fair trade, ect. can make all the difference in the world! In my world, and Sustainably Chic’s world, sustainability is in fashion, and now it’s all about letting others realize the impact they can make with their own purchasing power."

Gloria tote in multicolored diamond + teal by Manos Zapotecas, $130

     Like Natalie, I have a passion for sustainability. In the past few years,  I've learned so much about the true cost of cheap clothing and accessories in America and it has made a profound impact in how I shop and how I view the fashion industry. It is nice to have a discussion with someone who not only shares my views, but has an insider perspective on what it might take to change things. 

     

    "I read so many terrible articles, throughout college, about unethical treatment and waste that it made me sick," Natalie stated. "I took a few courses where I focused heavily on sustainability and my career in fashion took a totally different course. I was never really into trend reports - I loved style and construction that lasted. The fashion industry creates so many unnecessary wants. While I enjoy the art behind fashion, the industry pushes the trends too heavily on consumers which is why we have stores like GAP, H&M, Forever 21, ect. But every purchasing decision you make affects someone else in the world, and with ‘fast’ fashion, it is not in a positive way. The more people we can get to say no, the less terrible working conditions and waste there will be. Consumers have the ultimate say, and it’s important to discuss that power."

Eyelet Necklace in Easter Candy by SoloHope, $25

     The desire to be a conscientious consumer and also the desire to be fashionable do not have to be mutually exclusive, however! "Don’t get me wrong... I do like to purchase new items throughout the year (after all - I do own an online store), but you will never see me posting a different outfit everyday just because I have to keep up with the latest trends. My style and the items I purchase are a positive alternative to all the ridiculousness. I have had some amazing sustainable fashion designers, specifically with clothing, on the blog this past year that I look up to. Everyone I have featured is extremely talented and I only feature people or businesses I really stand behind, such as FROCK Los Angeles designer, Victoria Tik. She has taken the celebrity world by storm, which is one of the best ways to spread the idea of sustainable fashion."

Organic crochet and lace necklace in Bluebird, $20

Natalie includes both the work of sustainable companies that promote empowerment through creativity as well as items she recylces/upcycles/creates herself. I was particularly drawn to the delicacy of her necklaces and headbands and asked her to share a little about her creative process as an artist/designer. "I love anything dainty, so I always start with lace or vintage buttons and figure it out from there," she stated. "I do a lot of making and taking apart. Normally it’s when I’m not thinking too hard about it something good actually comes about! Nothing I make is difficult, but it also isn't something I've seen before."

As for Natalie's personal creative goals, she says "I really want to be a professional tatter and make lace. When I get there, I’ll feel much better about my other creative processes!"

You can follow Sustainably Chic's blog here, and I totally recommend doing so for beautiful imagery as well as insightful information on sustainability and creative living! In addition, you can follow Sustainably Chic on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter! 

***All shop photos and image of Natalie Smith courtesy of Sustainably Chic.

Wild Outside People...a challenge for April!

Or perhaps that should read: Get Wild Outside, People! For your own health, both physical and mental.

And you don't have to trek, hike, ride mountain bikes or traverse zip lines over precarious ravines while wearing spandex neon clothing. While it's certainly cool if you enjoy doing that, it's not a requirement to being an outside person.

Just like an enjoyment of hunting, fishing, and camping are not requirements of being outdoorsy. It seems we're always categorizing and labeling and defining ourselves in terms of whether or not we are this or that depending on how well we fit a definition coined by someone else.

,
We need nature. We were born a part of it, and we need to stay a part of it; whether we fit the definition of outdoorsy or not, our well-being suffers when we do not spend enough time in nature. Just Google well-being and time in nature and you'll find the research.

And so, I challenge you, for the month of April, to shed your notions about what being outdoorsy or an outside person is and get outside! In nature, in nature, in some way, every day. Join me and others around the world as we participate in Rewild Your Life's 30 Day Challenge! You can also join via Facebook!

Thirty days, with time spent in nature carved into each one. You don't need to travel beyond your own community; time spent in nature doesn't need to be adventurous or expensive.

It just needs to be spent.

Hope to see you being wild outside with us during April!!

A

Mediterranean Cauliflower Nom Nom Nom...

I spend a lot of time, especially on weekends, with food - washing, cutting, baking, and prepping it so that lunches and evening meals for the week can be easily prepared. Sometimes when it seems like so much work, I remind myself how wonderful it is to sit down to a healthy, delicious lunch at work and be able to quickly prepare my son his favorite dinners on busy school nights.

I genuinely believe that we are creating our health care plans with every bite we take. That being said, here's a favorite recipe in our home that is sure to become a favorite in yours as well - Mediterranean Cauliflower! It's simple, healthy and delicious!

First, you'll need to visit your local farmer's market (or grocery store) for a head of cauliflower. Mine is tucked in the bottom left of this bag of Saturday's treasures, under the leeks and beet greens!

Next, you'll need a bottle of McCormick Mediterranean Spiced Sea Salt. I found mine at my local Publix. You'll also need coconut oil.  I recommend always using organic for the full health and taste benefits, as heavily processed oils can lack nutrients and flavor.

Wash the cauliflower thoroughly and cut tips from base. Preheat the over to 350 degrees and grease a cookie sheet with the coconut oil. Arrange the cauliflower tips onto the cookie sheet and drizzle with 2 tablespoons melted coconut oil. Next, sprinkle with the Mediterranean Spiced Sea Salt blend until all pieces have a light dusting of the seasoning.

Bake for approximately 30 minutes, until cauliflower is tender. Then, enjoy!

We have this as a side, but I also use leftovers to jazz up my lunchtime quinoa salads, and it is delish! I'm sure it would be yummy in rice as well!

Happy Cooking!

Amy

Lessons from The February Challenge

Towards the end of January, my friend Debby told me about a personal challenge she and her son were participating in. For the entire month of February, they were not going into any stores but food stores. No shopping for anything other than food products, and those would be primarily limited to fruits and vegetables.

It sounded like an amazing experiment with self-discipline. Not only was there to be no shopping for anything other than food, but there would also be no idle store wandering, no window shopping, no perusing shops online. Instead, the focus would be pursuing more opportunities to support the arts and enjoy new experiences. To challenge one's self. To think. To grow.

I was right on board with this idea,and thus The February Challenge was born!

Being involved in the challenge with others who would hold me accountable made it much more fun! In addition to supporting one another, we also shared ideas and experiences. Visiting the mysterious Georgia Guidestones outside of Elberton, Georgia, has long been on my agenda...and we made that part of February's fun!

A windy cold day calls for Hello Kitty!

There was also a visit to music mecca Athens, Georgia, one of my Southern favorite towns! Dining at The Grit, visiting The Georgia Museum of Art to see a Guerilla Girls exhibit, and a trip to Daily Groceries Co-op.  These wonderful places are all in close proximity to us, and yet we hadn't been in ages!

Sighted along the way - we take the back roads, much more visually engaging!

We also took in a free theatrical production in our town and finally experienced Uchi E, a new Korean restaurant I've been keen to try.

Determined not to cave, I had to search for creative solutions whenever a situation arose where I might need to make a purchase. And I learned patience...hardly one of my virtues, but I found that in patience I discovered solutions that did not require spending. My son was totally on board with the challenge, and together we discussed why it is important to stick to financial goals.

I won't lie, though...I had to resist temptation that kept creeping my way. While I am hardly a shopaholic, I do love clothes, especially refashioning - altering and/or combining items to make new items! During the challenge, I shopped my own closet and refashioned a few things that weren't working for me whenever I wanted something 'new'. In addition, I reacquainted myself with my love of upcycling jewelry, making myself a few new pieces from junk jewelry and/or jewelry I no longer wear to match refashioned outfits. I've been on such a roll I'm even considering opening the shop again!

And the most amazing thing was, I felt so much joy during this personal challenge! Towards the end of the month, I will admit, I was counting the days until I could do a bit of thrift shopping - my favorite place to find items to refashion/upcycle , but I learned so much about how I spend not only my money, but also my time. It was humbling to, as they say, check our privilege as well. So many people don't shop for anything other than food because they can't. Every day for them is a challenge of finding creative solutions when shopping is not an option. I think this was the most valuable lesson my son took away from the experience, and I hope it is one that stays with him. He already has a strong social conscious, so I think it will!

Grounded. Grateful. Overflowing with creativity. Inspired. Happy. Culturally enriched. This is how the challenge left me feeling, and the lessons I learned will stay with me. I encourage you, if possible, to challenge yourself in this same way - take a month and shop for nothing but food. Get the kids on board, too! I am so grateful to Debby and her son Ethan for including us in this challenge. And now, as this sunny Saturday rolls in, it's time to keep those lessons firm and strong. A beautiful day means time in nature, enjoying the sun at sidewalk cafes, taking the dog on long walks, prepping the garden for planting - not wandering department stores and malls for things we don't really need!

Off to the Farmer's Market!

Much Love,
A

Love Knows No...

Happy Friday Everyone! Today's post was going to be about lessons learned during The February Challenge, and then someone shared this amazing video by Trendy Joe with me and I was so moved, I simply had to share it with my readers! So take a moment, or rather, about three minutes, and watch. Think about your biases (if any) and what you believe love should look like.

And then let this video shatter those illusions...

It's amazing what we can see - the love persons share - when outward appearances are stripped away.

What does your heart see?

Have a wonderful weekend! I'll share the post about our February Challenge on Sunday!