Life, Interrupted...post flood musings pt. 2 The Lessons

There is so much to be grateful for during this blessed Advent and Christmas season.

There are people I've grown closer to since the flood, people I knew but may not have known well, or perhaps I knew them well once but had lost touch over the years. Then they showed up, and kept showing up, these people I've learned to see in a new light because of the seemingly unending bounds of their generosity of time, funds and/or spirit. People who made me realize I had a lot to learn about giving and service to others. I am so grateful for the lessons they taught without even realizing it.

And there are some people I was once close to who all but disappeared from our lives since the first weekend in October. This a little harder to understand; I'm tempted to believe maybe not knowing what to do or say or how to help kept them at bay, I don't know. But I'm grateful for their lessons, too, the ones they taught without even realizing it.

So much has changed in the past 10 weeks, and is still changing. Our home looks like someone else's place. We are still settling in to the newness of it all. The last phase - siding replacement - was begun yesterday. So by this time next week, our home will look completely different on the outside as well.

What is to come...

Upgrades, every one. From the new appliances...

This new dishwasher...probably my favorite of all! 

to the new flooring....

The day we came home to this was just....capital!

And yes, it's all very, very good.

It's just also very, very different.

The rest of life did not stand still during this time. During the mix of it all, I turned a year older. So did my son.

Search the blog for my hummingbird cake recipe; it's the boy's favorite!

Fall ebbed into winter. One of my closest friends in the world moved, something I'm still processing has happened. Another announced that she and her spouse are separating and that she is also moving. These changes tear at my heartstrings; both lived a stone's throw from me and were frequent guests for coffee and kitchen table talk.

But there is also joy. A family member married his long-distance love after a three year courtship that involved traveling to another country, a lot of technology, and a hell of a lot of patience. I've been there; I can relate to this and feel overwhelming happiness that these two were able to make it happen. I'm thrilled for them and welcome both her and her child into the family. But for my own reasons, their story tears a little at my heartstrings, too.

Still I am grateful for the lessons all of these occurrences have taught over the past few weeks. The season of Advent is one of my favorites, and it's the perfect time of year to reflect. The flood's aftermath changed my home, my environment, my bank account, my daily routines and my thought processes. As life went on around me during the reconstruction, I changed, too. What seemed like chaos for weeks has now become an opportunity to rebuild, not only our home but my goals for myself and my little family. I can't tell you why, but I can tell you many ideas and ambitions I had before October have fallen by the wayside; they just don't seem important anymore.

The menagerie of photos adds just the right touch of familiarity! 

I think it will take a few more rounds of coffee and hours of kitchen table talk with friends both new and old to close out 2015 and come to terms with all of it's lessons. I think it will take a lot of quiet prayer, meditation and reflection during this Advent season for me to really let go of the old and be ready to focus on the new. I can't sum up why it is that I still feel a little lost, a little stranded, a little alone and 'not myself', but these feelings fade more and more with each passing day.

Outside of my window, birds are singing and the sun is making a glorious December appearance.

There is so, so much to be grateful for.

I wish you all a Blessed Advent and holiday season.

Life, Interrupted....Post Flood Musing, pt. one

There are moments I will never forget...

Going to sleep the night before to the gentle sound of rain.
Waking up to the police banging on our door a few hours later.
The sound of a rain that had become anything but gentle.
The water rising as I was informed we needed to evacuate our home.
The panic.
The sight of a neighbor's car completely submerged in water.
The long, wet ride in the back of a police car with my son, a few bags of clothes, and our terrified dog.
The cold, shaky feeling, once safely ensconced in the home of a friend, that I could not get dry, even after changing into dry clothes.

I know now that feeling is fear, subsiding.

A neighbor took this photo during the early morning evacuations...

Coming home was humbling. Seeing the devastation, the damage that forces beyond our control can wreak, makes one want to simply collapse into a heap on the floor and sob. And I thought about it, the first moment I stepped inside my front door after the flood...but I didn't. I didn't because there simply wasn't time. Like everyone else in the neighborhood, I was immediately thrown into the crux of aftermath, an aftermath in which no one knew, really, what to do, except that things needed to be done, and done fast.

And so we learned. We learned that water damage is minimized the faster you can get drywall and insulation out. So we learned to knock out dry wall and rip out soggy insulation. We learned that linoleum flooring comes up ever so easily when it's wet, and that after a few days, the sound of half a dozen drying fans running full speed becomes simple background noise. We learned that living in one room of the house because the others are uninhabitable or crammed full of salvaged furniture and other items is inconvenient, but entirely possible.

We also learned that letting go, a favorite catch phrase of our time, can create a sense of numbness when you are letting go of so much that it's just impossible to process. In the famed words of Scarlett O'Hara, flawed icon of Southern literature, "I can't think about this now. I'll think of it tomorrow."

When the wrecker came for my car, totaled in the flood, I couldn't think about it then. I couldn't think about it the next day, either, because there was too much to do. Later, when the wreckers came back, and took car after car from our parking lot, and then others came, helpers, offering food, clothing, assistance... I still couldn't think about it.

When my birthday came a couple of days later, I couldn't think about that either. As autumn, my favorite season, passed unnoticed in the weeks that followed, I ran on some kind of auto-pilot, because life, while interrupted, still needed to go on.

Being a single parent can be challenging any given day. But being a single parent during and following a natural disaster can demand you pull from reserves within you that you didn't even know you possessed, because no matter what you as a person are going through in those moments, it's up to you as a parent to hold the universe together for the one (or ones) for whom you are the north star, ever present, never faltering, a guiding light, always reassuring.

And that's exactly what keeps you together - that's where the great reserves of strength come from. That's what gets you through it all. If you are like me, you do exactly what Scarlett O'Hara said, you think about it later, 6 weeks later, when there is not so much to do, when the rain has finally stopped and the sun is shining and the reconstruction is almost completed.

And even though it was weeks ago, and you only lost material things, and you know it could have been a lot worse, you still feel like collapsing into a heap on the floor and sobbing.

But you don't. Instead, you take a deep breath, make another cup of coffee and marvel at the sight of the few remaining brilliant autumn leaves on the tree outside your window, how they glitter almost golden against the backdrop of white clouds and blue sky.

(....to be continued)

Flooded

The blog will be on indefinite hiatus due to our home being flooded in the weekend's Hurricane Joaquin. We lost the car and sustained significant damage to our lower level. Our state suffered catastrophic damage throughout many counties and there is still flooding occurring as more and more dams give way. We will begin reconstruction process of our home on Thursday but some people lost everything, some even lost their lives, so we are so grateful that we did not sustain more loss than we did. Thanks to all readers in advance for your patience and help support South Carolina during this time if you can!

Sunday Zen: Mothering and Intuition - Autumn Issue Coming Soon!

Mothering and Intuition - the theme of the Autumn issue of The Mother Magazine. 

Natural. Gentle. Beautiful. 

As always, I'm thrilled and beyond grateful to be associated with such an insightful and inspiring publication.

You can pre-order this issue either print or digitally by clicking here.

Wednesday Walks: The Energy of a Place

Autumn is descending in the South.

And I can't seem to get enough time outside. Though I love our woods, it's always fun to explore new woods, and we had the chance a couple of weeks ago when we visited friends staying at a family estate in Edgefield County.

Natural places have an energy all their own. I instantly felt the energy of these woods. It was inviting, beckoning us in, and the deeper we went, the more I felt pulled to keep going.

We were miles away from the nearest neighbor, but we were far from alone. I always consider seeing a snake to be a good sign, and this guy was nice enough to pose before going about his merry way!

He might just become my new background photo on Facebook!

It wasn't just the critters, though. There was a sense, in these woods, that you were in the midst of multiple times simultaneously, as if you'd walked far away from the present and found yourself in the woods of your ancestors. Perhaps it's the Cherokee in me, but Southern woods always feel like home. And let me tell you, energy here was so strong it was almost palpable! Perhaps because this land has been essentially undisturbed for decades, even though remnants of when it was once worked and farmed long ago still remain, slowly being reclaimed by nature.

I was told there were burial mounds further across this meadow, and I wasn't surprised. In these woods, you could feel the presence of those who were here before you almost as if they were walking by your side.

And of course, there were mushrooms!!!

He was so teeny tiny!!!

They're getting bigger...

This guy took the cake - I think we could have camped out under him!

And of course, it pays to notice when you've entered the faery realm!

These woods held such a magic and mystery that I was mesmerized. I can't wait to go exploring in them again!

Today is my mother's birthday and we're off to celebrate as soon as work and school come to an end. Mid-week celebrations make the necessity of work more bearable, don't they? Happy trails to you, and I hope you can get out and explore some new woods soon!

Sunday Zen: The Temptation to Buy Clothes (and other items) We Don't Need

Last night I hosted a fall clothing swap at my home and was really pleased with the 'new' items I discovered among my friend's cast offs. It's always fun and I love that reusing and recycling clothing is also free and sustainable!

I used to thrill at the deals I could find shopping big chain stores. Armed with coupons and a keen eye, I could easily rack up deals that would make me feel...I don't know...successful in some weird way, because I'd scored a lot of new things really cheap. When you live and support another life on one income, it's a good feeling to get a deal, yes....but was I really getting deals on things we needed...or was I simply falling for the clever strategies of marketing directors?

Perhaps it was a little bit of both. However, I have since learned that there is a cost for cheap fashion. I may have been proud to completely outfit my son and myself for a season for less than $50, but somewhere, somehow, someone paid a price. The environment likely took a hit as well, because the industry of fast fashion - think stores who regularly sell high priced items for 50-75% or more off - is a major contributor to icky toxins in our environment, not to mention the poor working conditions some garment industry employees toil under.

Back in April, I featured a bit more about the high cost of cheap clothing in my post on Fashion Revolution Day. I've done experiments where I didn't shop for clothes for 6 months, didn't shop for anything for an entire month except food, and most of my readers know my love of thrifting and upcycling. However, it's the temptation to shop the chain stores that reels most of us in.They just make it so easy. Some even give us money to spend.

Having committed loosely to another round of not shopping for any non-food items for a month, I was able to resist the urge to use this coupon last week. Why? Here are 8 reasons I resisted the temptation to use this coupon:

1. I currently do not need any new clothes or other items.
2. My son currently does not need any new clothes or other items.
3. It is highly unlikely I'd have only spent $5 had I went in, and it would have been money spent on items we don't need.
4. I'm committed to making my wardrobe eco-friendly and sustainable, which means applying a less-is-more mentality and shopping brands like Spiritex, Globe Hope, and Sustainably Chic.
5. I also believe thrift shopping is more eco-friendly and sustainable and try to find what I need at my favorite local thrift shop before looking for new items.

But more importantly...

6. I currently do not need any new clothes or other items.
7. My son currently does not need any new clothes or other items.

And perhaps most importantly...

8. It is highly unlikely I'd have only spent $5 had I went in, and it would have been money spent on items we don't need.

Still, a small part of me felt I had wasted the coupon...after all, it was $5 to spend, and it's possible I could have found an item on the sale rack for myself, my son, or a holiday gift for someone that would have been in the $5 price range... which means that with the coupon it would have been basically free, whoo hoo!

But a deeper part of me knows that fast fashion does have a cost, somewhere, to someone.  So while I may visit these big chain stores from time to time when I actually need an item I can't find elsewhere, my personal goal is to avoid unnecessary purchases, no matter what the deal.

How about you, how do you resist the seemingly every-present push to purchase items, especially clothing, that you and your family don't really need? And what eco-friendly, sustainable brands do you support? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Wednesday Walk: Necessary Spontaneity

I am sure I've mentioned here before how much I embrace the notion of spontaneity...as in, not so much.

This doesn't go with my free-spirited artist image, I know, but I'll be honest, I like plans. I like agendas and datebooks with things penciled in neatly. I like knowing where I'm going on what day and at what time and what I might expect when I get there. Plans, while subject to change on a dime, ground me and give me some sense of stability and security. I like looking at my calendar and seeing notes and times jotted down. I like knowing that on a particular day, I'll be doing this, that, and so on.

Sometimes, it's nice to shake it all up, however, with a bit of spontaneity. One of the most spontaneous people I know is my cousin Mike. When we attended his son's birthday party a few weeks back, he suggested - after the cake and ice cream festivities, that we ride up to Stumphouse Tunnel and Issaqueena Falls and take a hike.

Say what??? I had planned on attending the party then driving home through nearby Seneca, stopping at a book store and restaurant along the way. I hadn't planned on driving up to the mountains and hiking down a waterfall...no, that had not been on the agenda at all. And I wavered, still, even after he told me it was only a short drive from where we already were.

I had no good reason for hemming and hawing, but I did, thinking everything from "I'm not dressed appropriately" (I had on tank, long skirt, and my favorite Sanuks) to the fact that I'd all but broken my little toe tripping over my son's skateboard the day before, and my foot really hurt. But when my son heard the word tunnel he was over the moon with excitement about going.

So we all piled into cars and headed up...and had an absolutely amazing time. I'm so glad Mike suggested this and that I got over my hesitation and went along! Hiking around in the mountains feels like home to me - I spent most of my late teens and early twenties on a peak somewhere along the Blue Ridge every chance I got!

Scampering through the hills like a Mountain Goat...

Always on the lookout for 'shrooms!

Atop the tunnel! 

Yes it's another 'shroom pic. Bear with my addiction, please...

Descending in the mountains is often harder than ascending. We had to climb down to reach this fall, but it was worth it! 

Taking a well-earned rest!

Mike and I at the base of the fall!

Another 'epic' tree, to quote my son!

All in all, it was a beautiful day to be in the mountains and we had a great time visiting a new place. I've been trying for a while to practice being more spontaneous, what about you? Do you embrace spontaneity or plan out your days as I'm prone to do? I'm trying to find that balance between of just the right amount of spontaneity mixed with just the right amount of consistency. A big part of that is getting over myself when someone suggests a change of plans from what I had in mind!

You can't tell from this picture, but I had a serious case of hiking-induced jelly legs coming on! 

If you have never been to The Stumphouse Tunnel or Issaqueena Falls in Oconee County, then I highly recommend. The trail down to the falls is a little treacherous to navigate, (especially in a skirt and Sanuks!) but there is also a viewing platform and picnic area as well as a pond. The tunnel itself is a great walk through a real spooky tunnel, which the kids will love. Bring a lunch and a flashlight and have a great time!