His honesty is touching and his way of detailing the experiences that led him to make certain choices is refreshing. His post on children and minimalism especially moved me, since I have taken this approach with my own son and receive more than a bit of criticism from people who can't understand the lifestyle. Minimalism with one child may be a lifestyle choice to promote well-being and the quality of life we desire, but with six children I believe it would be a necessity! I loved the post and it inspired me to continue on the path of minimalism that is working so well for my son and I right now.
I can not say enough about this work. I have not always known how to let go. A few years ago, I created the The Boldness Initiative blog in order to help myself, and maybe as result, help others, learn to let go and live boldly, even when life does a 360 on us. However, many of those blogs were fueled by hurt and anger as I struggled to come to terms with a new normal. I wish I'd had The One Skill back then!! It takes having to let go to learn to let go, however, and it's far from an overnight process.
What I love about The One Skill, which I downloaded, read all in one stretch, then came back to for pondering and reflection, is that he identifies the many types of loss and how the depth of experience is relevant to the person having the experience. In other words, no loss is greater or smaller than another, and even letting go of little things is very important skill to have.
Much of the suffering we inflict upon ourselves in life is rooted in our own expectations of how we think a situation, or a relationship, or a career or even the personalities of our children should be. It's so hard not to form expectations, however! I try hard not to yet I still do it, even at times with small things. Last year, we had significantly greater rainfall than typical and most of the plants in my garden rotted at the roots. There was precious little harvest from all that spring toiling, and it was a great disappointment. Though I like to believe I live in the moment without expectation, I planted those seeds and plants fully expecting to enjoy their bounty, and was greatly disappointed to lose not only the plants, but the ideal or expectation I'd built up about having them. I do not need, at this point in my life, to feed myself from my own garden, but I sure was in love with the idea of doing that! I had to let go of that ideal, that dream, and sometimes for me that is the hardest part!
However, my own experiences letting go in big and small ways are what make me appreciate Leo Baubata, his writing, and The One Skill so much. We can not usually predict or prevent small or big losses from happening to us, but we are in complete control of how we choose to react to them. It is so easy to wallow in self-pity, become bitter, depressed, even selfish and cling to a 'walking wounded' identity when bad things happen, and this to me is the worst possible outcome of not being able to let go. I'm not proud to say I've done it before, however. I think we all have at some point. That is why learning to let go is not a catch phrase of this era, but a valuable life skill.
If you are struggling with this, please download The One Skill here and let Leo Baubata's writing help you on your journey of learning to let go. Part of my struggle in past was that I didn't want to let go and accept changes, and that is so futile and harmful! I love the way it is addressed in this free (again, free!) ebook The One Skill. Kindly and gently but still directly enough so we know there simply is no other way. When life does a 360 on us, we have to let go and keep moving on, otherwise we do ourselves and possibly others great harm while life is moving on around us!
Please visit www.zenhabits.net for much, more more wise words on everything from marriage and relationship to eating healthier! I love this blog so much, and I think you will love it, too!
** I decided to illustrate this blog primarily with photos taken in my garden last night, since last year's gardening experience is referenced in my writing! As a way maybe of showing there is always more chance and life and new dreams do go on after loss!